Do not be too conscious if you want to have real friends and be accepted

Have you ever felt like everybody is staring at you and judging you based on every action you do? Many have, and that may be termed as the spotlight effect. We think people are always looking at us and have plans to go against the way we want things to happen; where in fact, they do not actually care since they are so busy with what’s going on in their life. And surprisingly, they feel like you are judging them too.

There’s somebody I know who always do that noticeably, that I may have adapted as well. He always reacts when he’s doing something and somebody passed away thinking that the person have been constantly looking and cares about the things he does. The fact is, the person actually doesn’t care but starts to care since he made the person notice what he’s doing. This may be specifically common to people who think that they’ve done something wrong and feel guilty about it, but I recently noticed almost everybody does it.

The main reason I see why this happen, they seek validation from other people. When I have been in the situation and I see someone who passes, I immediately react by hiding what I am doing thinking that the person may judge and criticize it but many do not actually care about it unless I brag and tell the whole story.

Being too conscious is not only an ill behavior that needs to be eliminated and damages the person who does it but also creates a distrust idea to the other person. It will also make the person more curious on your life.

I have another friend who appears confident but when we are together, he always asks if things are right and is constantly afraid of judging from other people. It is shocking because he is always looking confident.

Having adopted the behavior, I have been once advised by my teacher to be confident and remain calm.

I see over-consciousness as a sign of fear, which may be a fear of rejection, fear of judgment or another kind of fear. And, as we agree, fear is a barrier to confidence.

This conscious thing, I think, is a kind of fear that people might hate you if they notice that you are doing something whether it’s good or bad. This creates an illusion and makes the people seek validation from people around them. People who do this want acceptance, they prefer no progress in their life to be accepted — they are willing to give their freedom and happiness, which are the true wealth, for validation from others.

The worst is, these kind of people for most of their life are the one who keeps pushing themselves for validation than what they really want. And they will never fulfill the validation they want as people ask them for more and more.

The people who are always conscious have no real friends as they have never been real to themselves. In fact, humans want people who are confident and keeps the fire burning — those who will work against all odds to fight for what they know is right. That is the kind of person that this world is seeking and admires, and if people admire you, you will be the person to whom they ask validation. But never abuse their trust on you, rather, you must be advising them not to seek validation from anybody but follow the life they know is right and the life they want to have.

Consciousness is a part of our being and helps us distinguish what is right and wrong, but having too much will never give a benefit as it could be a sign of fear. Never seek validation, do what is right, and live with a breath of fresh air.

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Article written by JM

JM is an adventure-seeking bookworm from the Philippines. He wants to enjoy his life on earth via living simply, happily, and easily. Treasure every moment of life.

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